hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
