Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
you never un-have a 4some
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
