i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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