big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
