what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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