you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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