so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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