just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
