I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
