she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
