i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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