I want you more than these girls want KFC
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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