just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
