I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
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