How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
barbara walters just said penis...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
a search helicopter?!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
