sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
