your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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