My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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