Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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