the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Randomize