I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
