i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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