Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
