who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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