Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
