So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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