I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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