if i can run in heels then i can drive
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
