He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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