I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
