discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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