just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
