I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
