that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Say something about gay babies.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
