This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
