My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
