I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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