You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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