I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
