did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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