I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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