I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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