So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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