Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
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I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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