I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
