I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
