im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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