Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
