i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This is the high leading the old right now
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
