3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
