Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
