he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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