How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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