five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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