I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
