i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize