my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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