I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
