Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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