I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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