Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
