Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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